Every marriage brings together two people with different histories, different needs, and different ways of handling stress. Sometimes those differences show up in small ways, like a disagreement over how the dishwasher gets loaded, and sometimes they show up in bigger conversations that feel harder than either of you expected. Moments like these are a normal part of sharing a life with someone, and they don’t mean something is wrong with your marriage.
Most of us were never taught how to be married. We learned by watching the marriages we grew up around, and the patterns we picked up there don’t always fit the relationship we’re building today. Through marriage counseling in San Diego, we help you recognize the patterns that keep getting you stuck, understand what is happening between you, and learn how to do something different. What that work looks like depends on what you want for your relationship.
When Does a Marriage Need Counseling?
There’s no single right moment to reach out. Some couples come to us when the same disagreement keeps resurfacing, some when they miss the closeness they once shared, and others when a major life change has them rethinking how they connect. Below are a few of the situations we most often help married couples work through.
How Does Marriage Counseling Work?
Reading about communication skills and actually using them when your spouse is upset are two very different things. Our job is to help you do it, together, with someone in the room who can slow things down.
We begin marriage therapy with a four-session assessment, so our recommendations are built around your marriage rather than a one-size-fits-all template.
In your first session, you’ll meet with your therapist together and share the story of your relationship. In sessions two and three, each of you meets privately with your therapist to talk openly about what hurts most, what you believe needs to change, and what would need to be different for therapy to feel like a worthwhile use of your time and energy. In your fourth session, you’ll come back together to hear about your strengths as a couple, your areas for growth, and your recurring patterns, and to build a treatment plan shaped by what your therapist has learned.
Each of you will also complete the Gottman Relationship Checkup on your own. The Checkup is a comprehensive online assessment of approximately 400 questions on the Gottman Connect platform. Your results show your therapist which areas of your relationship may warrant a deeper look, and your therapist uses those results along with what they learn in your assessment sessions to develop your treatment plan.
After the assessment, sessions typically continue weekly through the first few months as you begin putting your treatment plan into practice. Meeting consistently matters. When several weeks pass between appointments, sessions tend to turn into a recap of the latest argument instead of a place to build on what you’re learning.
Our marriage therapists in San Diego draw on the Gottman Method, along with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and other evidence-based approaches. You can also learn more about our approach to couples therapy and what to expect in your first session.
Why Choose Us for Marriage Counseling in San Diego?
What Couples Say About Working With Us
Hear from those who've experienced positive changes through our services.
“This helped us sit and have uncomfortable conversations that were long overdue.”
“Thank you so much for taking the time to really understand our issues and providing us with all the tools to use when future issues arise.”
“I learned I need to take a 20 minute break when flooded, ask for clarity in facial expressions, use gentle startup and take ownership even if its small.”
“Gave me many tools and insights, I’m excited to implement them.”
“I couldn’t have had a better experience. Dana is so caring and smart and easily helped us navigate through our issues.”
“I learned that I need to ask for my needs and also take a break when I feel flooded.”
“I had an excellent experience, it helped me get clarity and learn valuable tools.”
“Dana was really effective at explaining the research, helping facilitate the conversation with figuring out how to address our biggest challenges.”
“Really pleased with the experience. Absolutely exceeded my expectations.”
“I gained the clarity I was looking for!”
“Everything made me feel safe and comfortable here.”
Not sure what kind of help your marriage needs? You don’t have to know before you reach out. Many couples call us before they’ve figured that out, and these three paths show where people usually begin.
Path 1: Understand Yourself and Your Relationship Patterns
If you’d like to focus on the patterns you bring into your marriage, individual counseling and coaching give you space to understand those patterns and change what you’d like to. Explore Path 1
Path 2: Gain Clarity About What Comes Next
If one of you is unsure about the future of the marriage, this path focuses on getting clear before deciding what comes next. Explore Path 2
Path 3: Repair, Rebuild, or Redefine Your Relationship
If you both want to work on your marriage, couples therapy and intensives help you strengthen it together. Marriage counseling lives here. Explore Path 3
San Diego Marriage Counseling FAQs
You probably have a few practical questions before reaching out. Here are answers to the ones we hear most. If yours isn’t here, bring it to your free consultation.
Start With a Complimentary 15-Minute Consultation
You don’t need to know what kind of help you need before you contact us. Tell us what’s happening, and we’ll meet you where you are.
Our administrative team can answer your questions, explain how our services work, and help you schedule your first step. Schedule your complimentary consultation.
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