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gummy bear mom feeding child

Dr. Dana McNeil Featured in Good Housekeeping: The Real Lesson Behind “Gummy Bear Mom” Parenting

Parenting /

If your social feed has shown you the term “gummy bear mom” lately, you’re not imagining it. The label has taken off on TikTok as the cheerful opposite of the “almond mom” — the parent whose pantry has room for both organic cucumbers and a well-stocked snack drawer. This parent also doesn’t panic over a Costco run full of treats. It’s a lighthearted name for a real question a lot of parents are asking: how […]

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same-sex couple with Gottman Method therapist

Why the Gottman Method Works So Well for Same-Sex Couples

Couples Therapy, LGBTQ /

Insight from Dr. Dana McNeil, Certified Gottman Therapist When The Gottman Institute needed a clinician to write honestly about whether its own method truly serves same-sex couples, they turned to Dr. Dana McNeil, co-founder of The Relationship Place and a Certified Gottman Therapist. Her article for Gottman.com, “Finding the Right Approach to Therapy with Same-Sex Partners,” is the kind of piece that could only come from someone who has spent years in the room with

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friends showing gratitude and obligation

When Someone Helped Change Your Life—What Do You Owe Them If You Change Your Mind?

Personal Growth, Relationship /

This is ultimately a story about gratitude and obligation — and about what we owe the people who helped us become who we are, especially when we change course. Brad Pitt has recently been in the news for talking about his relationship with alcohol. After previously speaking publicly about seven years of sobriety, Pitt has shared that he began drinking again several years ago and now describes his drinking as more restrained. But that’s actually

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judging, contempt, sacrifice and shame

The Gift Mistaken for a Loan: Why Sacrifice Breeds Resentment, and Altruism Breeds Shame

Relationship, Self-Esteem /

This article is part of a three-part series on Shame and Contempt Every long-term couple is keeping a ledger, whether they’ve admitted it to themselves or not. It usually isn’t about money. It’s about sacrifice: I gave up what I wanted so you could have what you needed. And underneath that ledger sits an assumption so old neither partner remembers agreeing to it — that this is how love is supposed to work. You sacrifice

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contempt, defensiveness, weakness in partner

The Cost of Perfect: Shame, Defensiveness, and Why We Can’t Bear Our Partner’s Weakness

Couples Therapy, Relationship Research /

This article is part of a three-part series on Shame and Contempt In Part 1, we looked at contempt — how it functions as a shame defense, converting “I am inadequate” into “you are the problem.” But contempt has a subtler sibling that does the same job with less noise: defensiveness. Gottman’s research describes defensiveness as self-protection dressed up as innocence — the righteous counter-attack, the excuse, the “it’s not my fault” reflex. It sends

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contempt and shame in couple relationship

Sulfuric Acid for Love: Understanding Contempt Before It Erodes Your Relationship

Couples Therapy, Relationship Research /

This article is the first in a three-part series on Shame and Contempt A lively argument can lead a couple to deeper understanding, trust grounded in respect for differences, and even great makeup sex. And sure, every couple gets tired, short with each other, and occasionally unfair. That’s not what predicts the end of a relationship. What predicts it is a specific tone — one where a partner isn’t just frustrated with what you did,

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Type C mom with her child

What Is a “Type C Mom”? A Therapist’s Take on the Viral Trend

As Seen In, Parenting /

If you’ve spent any time on TikTok lately, you’ve probably seen it: the “Type C mom.” Not quite Type A’s color-coded calendar, not quite Type B’s go-with-the-flow shrug — something in between. Organized enough to remember the permission slip, human enough to serve cereal for dinner and call it a win. The trend has struck a nerve, and it recently caught the attention of Good Housekeeping, which asked our co-founder, Dr. Dana McNeil, PsyD, LMFT,

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couple in retirement revealing partner change and growth

Retirement Doesn’t Change Your Relationship—It Reveals It

Relationship, Retirement /

What My Conversation with The Washington Post Made Me Think About Long-Term Love   When The Washington Post recently interviewed me about retirement and relationships, I was glad to see a national conversation turn toward something I discuss with couples every week. Retirement is often treated as a financial event. In my therapy office, it’s usually a relationship event. We spend decades preparing retirement accounts, meeting with financial planners, and imagining what life will look

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couple gaslighting in relationship

Is Gaslighting Happening in Your Relationship? What to Know and What to Do

As Seen In, Relationship /

Have you ever left an argument with your partner feeling confused about what actually happened — not just hurt or frustrated, but genuinely unsure whether your own memory can be trusted? If so, you’re not alone. And there may be a name for what you’ve been experiencing. Gaslighting has become one of the most frequently discussed topics in couples therapy today. While the word itself has become something of a cultural shorthand, the behaviors behind

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