Cuddle Positions

Cuddle Positions – Benefits and Meaning

Who doesn’t love to cuddle?

If you are one of the people lucky enough to have someone to cuddle right now, you know how meaningful it can be to experience comfort through human touch. Elizabeth Kirkhorn interviewed me recently for an article in O.school in which we discussed the benefits of cuddling, as well as different cuddling positions.

Specifically, the article discussed six different cuddling positions, what they are, and what they mean.

For example, most of us have heard of “spooning”. But have you heard about “being small”, “the stronghold”, or “the honeymoon hug”? Did you know that each cuddle position means something different? Did you know that although cuddling is intimate, your preferred position in the cuddle says something about your needs or preferences in the relationship?

self quarantine

Quarantined from your Partner?

People in essential services have continued working throughout the quarantine, and those who have had the option to work from home have been able to remain on the job as well. Many others have only recently begun returning to work.

Every day we hear reports about new cases of Covid-19, increased rates of positive tests, and speculation about another shut-down. For those venturing out into the world and workplace, they are increasing their exposure to other people and the risk of being infected themselves.

Concerns about exposure is leading many to quarantine themselves from their partners and/or families in order to protect them. As an example, I have a relative who routinely flies for work, stays in hotels, and eats take-out (when sit-down dining is not available). When he returns home, he quarantines himself from his wife for two weeks to ensure he does not have any symptoms.

Quarantining yourself this way may be prudent and responsible, but it can also cause anxiety, stress, and feelings of disconnection from your partner.

Here are some ideas to help you stay connected and reduce anxiety and stress during your time of quarantine:

emotional neglect article

Emotional Neglect in Marriage

Clients sometimes seek out marriage counseling because one or both partners feel unappreciated, ignored, or disconnected. Sometimes they can feel lonely even when their partner is in the same room. Often these emotions can signal when emotional neglect is happening in a relationship.

Sometimes the emotional disconnection in a relationship can get to the point where one partner speaks to and thinks about their partner with contempt. Contempt may not be as obvious as you think, it can take the form of small continuous digs and comments made about a partner’s intelligence or value, an inability to ever catch the partner doing something right, or comments to those outside of the relationship where a partner is demeaned or whose value is minimized.

conference speaker

Guest Speaker: Modern Therapist Conference

I’m privileged to be selected as a guest speaker at this year’s Therapy Reimagined Modern Therapist Conference!

Special thanks to Curt Widhalm and Katie Vernoy of Therapy Reimagined for always making this such a great event and for inviting me to participate.

This is the 3rd annual Modern Therapist Conference. I have attended both of the prior conferences and found them to be so informative, engaging, and inspirational.  In addition to top-notch keynote speakers, the conference has several break-out sessions, panels, and opportunities for continuing education. The conference also provides a great opportunity to network, make new friends in the therapy world, and learn new ways to think about the issues we face in today’s ever-changing world! To be selected as a guest speaker is an honor, and I’m excited to be a part of it.

Dana Feelings

Seeing Light: Authority Magazine Feature

I was recently interviewed by Dr. Ely Weinschneider, Psy.D of Authority Magazine for an article titled “Seeing Light at the End of the Tunnel: 5 Reasons To Be Hopeful During this Corona Crisis.” As we are beginning to see the world slowly start opening up (although limited), this article is timely. I’d like to pull some highlights out which could help improve mental health and feelings.

illness

Things to Never Tell Someone With An Illness

I recently had the pleasure of contributing to an article by Leah Groth for Eat This Not That concerning attitudes towards people who may be suffering from illness. A huge thanks Leah and Eat This Not That! For my readers, here are some of the things we at The Relationship Place believe you should never say to someone suffering from COVID-19: #1: “It will be fine. Just don’t think about it and pretend like it’s not happening.” You might think you are helping someone keep their mind off their illness, but “it” is happening, and being in denial doesn’t help. “It is likely the sick person is thinking about very little else and telling them to the opposite of their reality makes them feel disconnected and shamed.” #2: “Just suck it up and deal with it.” When you discount a sick person’s condition it can really hurt. “Having an illness is scary and makes the person feel vulnerable.” #3: Saying nothing at all! The worst thing you can possibly do if a person you care about is sick is nothing at all. Ghosting the person or not checking in on them, can make them feel incredibly isolated. “Check in with the sick person to let them know you are thinking about them. When we avoid talking about the illness, it gives the other person the impression they may be burdening you.” At The Relationship Place, we believe every individual can benefit from therapy. For a free consultation, visit our website!  You can read …

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I do Uncertainty

“I Do” Uncertainty Podcast

Of course, life is uncertain. Now more than ever we’re collectively feeling the uncertainty brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic. I recently had the privilege of being interviewed by Chase and Sarah Kosterlitz for their “I Do” podcast to discuss tips and advice for couples dealing with uncertainty. You can listen to the podcast here. 

Social Distancing

Disagreeing About Social Distancing?

I recommend my clients approach each other with an attitude of being more curious than furious about your partner’s differing position. Your partner is not opposing you just to be difficult or obstinate about social distancing. When you can approach your partner with an open attitude of wanting to really understand what is driving their thought process you start off the conversations from a gentler approach, which promotes compassion and compromise.

pistanthrophobia

The Fear of Trusting: Pistanthrophobia

Pistanthrophobia is the fear of trusting others and is often the result of experiencing a serious disappointment or painful ending to a prior relationship. As a result of the trauma, the person with this phobia possesses a fear of getting hurt again and avoids being in another relationship as a way to guard against future similar painful experiences. When this happens, you’re unable to have a future relationship that may help you gain perspective or understanding as to why the prior relationship may not have been a good fit to begin with.

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