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Relationship

Expert relationship counseling resources in San Diego. Discover proven strategies for healthy partnerships, communication skills, and lasting connection.

friends showing gratitude and obligation

When Someone Helped Change Your Life—What Do You Owe Them If You Change Your Mind?

Personal Growth, Relationship /

This is ultimately a story about gratitude and obligation — and about what we owe the people who helped us become who we are, especially when we change course. Brad Pitt has recently been in the news for talking about his relationship with alcohol. After previously speaking publicly about seven years of sobriety, Pitt has shared that he began drinking again several years ago and now describes his drinking as more restrained. But that’s actually […]

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judging, contempt, sacrifice and shame

The Gift Mistaken for a Loan: Why Sacrifice Breeds Resentment, and Altruism Breeds Shame

Relationship, Self-Esteem /

This article is part of a three-part series on Shame and Contempt Every long-term couple is keeping a ledger, whether they’ve admitted it to themselves or not. It usually isn’t about money. It’s about sacrifice: I gave up what I wanted so you could have what you needed. And underneath that ledger sits an assumption so old neither partner remembers agreeing to it — that this is how love is supposed to work. You sacrifice

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couple in retirement revealing partner change and growth

Retirement Doesn’t Change Your Relationship—It Reveals It

Relationship, Retirement /

What My Conversation with The Washington Post Made Me Think About Long-Term Love   When The Washington Post recently interviewed me about retirement and relationships, I was glad to see a national conversation turn toward something I discuss with couples every week. Retirement is often treated as a financial event. In my therapy office, it’s usually a relationship event. We spend decades preparing retirement accounts, meeting with financial planners, and imagining what life will look

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couple gaslighting in relationship

Is Gaslighting Happening in Your Relationship? What to Know and What to Do

As Seen In, Relationship /

Have you ever left an argument with your partner feeling confused about what actually happened — not just hurt or frustrated, but genuinely unsure whether your own memory can be trusted? If so, you’re not alone. And there may be a name for what you’ve been experiencing. Gaslighting has become one of the most frequently discussed topics in couples therapy today. While the word itself has become something of a cultural shorthand, the behaviors behind

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man listening intently to woman and accepting influence

The Strength to Be Moved: Accepting Influence

Men's Mental Health, Relationship /

“Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.)” — Walt Whitman, Song of Myself The mistaken equation There is a belief, held quietly by many men and loudly by some, that to be moved by another person is to be weakened by them. That to change your position is to lose it. That accepting your partner’s influence means surrendering your principles, your logic, your integrity. That the

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woman embarrassed and cringing feeling cringe about partner

What Is Relationship Cringe? Why Caring About Your Partner Can Feel Embarrassing

Dating, Relationship /

What is “relationship cringe”? For some of my clients, relationship cringe is that uneasy feeling when you catch yourself caring deeply about your partner and suddenly worry that being sincere about it looks uncool. It’s the internal wince when you post something affectionate or admit you’re happy in love, then immediately second-guess it. It’s essentially shame wrapped around vulnerability. In a culture that rewards irony, detachment, and emotional control, openly valuing your relationship can feel

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Romantic date ideas in San Diego Couples Therapy The Relationship Place

Valentine’s Day Date Ideas in San Diego: What Actually Feels Romantic?

Dating, Relationship /

What actually makes a Valentine’s Day date feel romantic? Is it the restaurant reservation? The perfect view? The pressure to “get it right”? Most couples don’t feel closer because of what they did—they feel closer because of how they felt while doing it. Relationship research shows that when couples share new experiences, the brain releases dopamine and other bonding hormones. That shared emotional “lift” creates connection. You’re not just having fun—you’re building a positive emotional

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Couple struggling with intimacy in a sexless marriage (San Diego couples therapy)

Sexless Marriage? What to Do When Intimacy Disappears

Couples Counseling, Relationship, Sexual Health /

San Diego Couples Therapy Insights from The Relationship Place A sexless marriage can feel confusing and deeply painful — especially when one partner wants intimacy and the other seems distant, avoidant, or uninterested. Couples often tell themselves it’s “just a phase,” but over time, a lack of sex can create emotional loneliness, resentment, insecurity, and disconnection. At The Relationship Place, we work with couples across San Diego (and throughout CA and TX) who feel stuck

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