The Gottman Method of Couples Therapy
What is the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy?
Marriage researcher and therapist, Dr. John Gottman has been researching what makes couples relationships work for over 40 years. His research can predict whether couples will stay together with a 94% accuracy.
The Psychotherapy Networker, a key journal for psychotherapists, recognized Gottman as one of the most influential therapists over the past 2 decades.
Gottman’s 7 Principles of Lasting Relationships
1. Building Love Maps
This principle involves getting to know each other’s worlds – past, present, and future dreams and goals. There is always more to learn about each other if you keep an open mind. Knowing the deepest aspects of each other’s inner worlds builds a stronger relationship.
2. Expressing Fondness and Admiration
Couples in healthy relationships express affection and appreciation for each other. Gottman says that showing respect and fondness for one another is essential for a happy relationship.
3. Turn Toward One Another
Couples who regularly show one another that they value each other have more loving and lasting relationships. They do little things for each other – a phone call during the day, a surprise dinner, supporting one another when one partner has had a bad day, etc.
4. Accept Influence
Happy couples influence each other’s dreams and goals. They involve each other in decisions that each need to make for themselves and the relationship.
5. Solve Solvable Problems
Couples in thriving relationships use compromise to solve solvable differences. Solvable problems are typically situational, not the ones that crop up continuously and have underlying conflict.
6. Manage Conflict and Overcome Gridlock
Unlike solvable problems, perpetual problems are those that reoccur over and over where couples become stuck. Gottman says that unfulfilled dreams are often at the root of reoccurring issues. To overcome gridlock, couples need to discuss their dreams with one another respectfully.
7. Create Shared Meaning
Healthy couples create shared meaning and purpose in their lives together. They are enriched by each other’s lives and what each brings to the relationship.
Why Our Therapists Use the Gottman Method
Our clients want concrete solutions to their relationship struggles, and the tools used in the Gottman method are highly effective at solving any problem couples have.
How You and Your Partner Can Benefit from the Gottman Method
Any couple can benefit from the Gottman method of couples therapy if they commit to the therapy process and to their relationship.
Key benefits you can expect from couples therapy:
- Deepen your friendship and intimacy
- Increase fondness and affection
- Enhance your connection to each other
- Gain effective conflict resolution skills
- Create shared meaning and purpose
- Help each other achieve your individual and shared life dreams and goals
- Increase trust and commitment to each other