- How to Create Shared Meaning as Newlyweds or Newly Engaged - December 29, 2021
- The Gifts of Showing Your Gratitude for Each Other - November 28, 2021
- What to Expect When You Go to Couples Therapy - October 14, 2021
Let’s talk about conflicts in Relationships:
Though many of you may already know, it’s worth mentioning that I love my job as the relationship expert behind TV’s “I Do”. In our “Ask the Expert” series, I was recently asked, “Is it normal for us to have conflicts even though our relationship is new?”
Conflict in a new relationship isn’t something negative!
“It’s important that you have conflict. You have your own thoughts, feelings, beliefs. So do I! Perfect storm for conflict, right?”
It’s what we do when we find ourselves here that tells us everything about how our new relationship is going to move forward.
Normalize your conflicts.
After all, you aren’t clones of each other! The most important thing is being curious, and not furious about the conflicts you encounter.
Don’t take it personally.
If your partner is having a problem, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you. They really have something external going on.
A big part of couples therapy is trying to find out the issue, to acknowledge it, and work together through whatever might be happening.
“It’s normal to not know how to solve your conflicts without learning the tools.”
It’s completely okay to be at a loss for what to do once there is a conflict. Relationships don’t come with a manual, and there is always something new to learn. Having a healthy new relationship is a discipline, and any new relationship can develop an issue seemingly out of nowhere if the issues aren’t nipped in the bud.
The average couple has one conflict a week.
If we aren’t doing something about it now, it most certainly will not get easier in the future. The average couple waits 6 years before making the decision to get therapy. During that time, all the same habits and problems are being built up and established through time. Therapy is important during times of conflict, but even more important before the conflict starts.
If you’re in a healthy new relationship and would like some help learning the tools to make your partnership stronger, that’s what I’m here for. Schedule a consultation with The Relationship Place today! We’ll help you get on the right track.
You can view the TV segment clip below, where I talk in more detail about the topics above. For more information on TV’s “I Do” series, visit their website here. It’s perfect for anyone looking to know anything new about weddings and relationships.