This piece was written by our amazing therapist, Katrina Lopez, LMFT.
The Impact of Stressful Events On Us and Our Relationships:
The world in which we live is never short of events that impact our well-being, whether that is through changes in our financial means, feeling emotionally and physically unsafe in society, going through life transitions with little or no support, or just typical everyday stressors. All of these things impact our mental health and the stability of our relationships. We are living in a time where our support system needs to be strong but is often negatively impacted by societal and personal experiences. What are we supposed to do when the relationships we have with those in our support system no longer feel like a safe space? What happens when we go days, weeks, months, or even years without talking to someone who once meant so much to us? It is easy to grow distant from those around us, especially when they might not be physically present with us. It can be difficult to repair relationships when we want to and much more so when we are told we need to. Family therapy is a path to repairing these relationships.
What is Family Therapy?
Family therapy strives to create an environment where family members can explore the events that led to a strained or broken relationship in a safe and empathetic way while learning new skills to improve communication and understanding moving forward. At its baseline, family therapy consists of two family members who are hoping to improve their relationship dynamic. This can include families who are in the beginning process of separation/divorce, in the legal process of negotiating custody arrangements, families that have been impacted by trauma, foster care or adoption, or families who have been estranged from each other and looking to reconnect.
Is Family Therapy only court ordered?
Family therapy can be a court ordered task in order to help families through custody transitions, such as when one parent has been the primary/sole caregiver and now both parents are exploring a more shared role. This transition can be difficult for children, and family reunification is a space for children to rejoin with their parents in a way that makes more room for their thoughts, feelings, and needs.
However, court orders are not the only reason family therapy can be initiated. It is not uncommon for family members to experience tension throughout life experiences, such as divorce or trauma, that impacts the relationship. When we experience events that are difficult or hurtful it can be a natural reaction to go into a protective mode. For some, protective behaviors can include detaching from people in our support system because maybe they are the ones who caused us hurt, we do not know how to communicate how we are feeling or what we need, or we do not trust that they will respond well. This can lead to a rupture in the relationship and if we do not actively work towards repairing this it can lead to an emotional and/or physical estrangement. Family therapy can help in these situations by facilitating a conversation on what led to this and how to move forward to repair the relationship. This can be a benefit for any family dynamic: a child and parent, siblings, a grandchild and grandparent, cousins, etc.
Why is Family Therapy so important?
- It helps rebuild trust and communication
- Your therapist will help create a safe space to talk about past experiences and learn how to effectively communicate your thoughts, feelings, and needs moving forward
- Your therapist will guide open and honest communication to help rebuild trust between each participant
- It helps with healing
- Relational stressors are a huge source of emotional pain, especially for children who might not understand what is happening.
- Your therapist will help address this pain and provide a personalized path for healing
- Your therapist will help each participant have a balanced perspective to reduce negative emotions such as anger, confusion, or resentment
- It improves child well-being
- Children benefit from an environment in which they feel connected and have healthy relationships with each other their parents
- Your therapist will help your children access both parents as a resource and support system, which will help increase their self-esteem, create a sense of belonging, and improve their overall well-being
- It can be prevention care
- Your therapist will help you identify the root causes that lead to this rupture in your relationship and teach healthy communication and conflict resolution skills, which can be applied to future conflict or tension in the relationship
- Your therapist will help establish boundaries and emotional regulation, which will be necessary for maintaining healthy relationships moving forward
- It can have legal implications
- If your family therapy has been court ordered, this is not only necessary for the child’s safety and well-being, your therapist can help to navigate the legal and social complexities
Where to go from here:
Do you resonate with anything discussed above?
Does it feel difficult to know where to start?
Our team at The Relationship Place is here to help.
Visit our Family Therapy page and fill out the form at the bottom. A member of our team will reach out to schedule a consultation call.
This is meant to be a dedicated space for us to learn more about you, your family, and your needs.
Sometimes taking this first step can be the most difficult part, so let us guide you towards a path of specific and specialized tools just for you and your family.