Rekindling Love for Empty Nesters: A Guide for Parents
Introduction: The New Season No One Warns You About
For couples over 50, becoming empty nesters can feel like standing in a quiet house with a loud silence. The last child heads off to college, and suddenly, it’s just the two of you again. No carpools. No sports schedules. No college applications. Just space, quiet—and a partner who might feel more like a roommate than a romantic companion.
This transition can be both freeing and deeply unsettling. At The Relationship Place, we see countless couples grappling with this exact season. As the founder of a practice specializing in Gottman Method couples therapy, I know this space well. You’re not alone, and more importantly, there’s a way forward.
Why This Time Is So Hard: Common Challenges Empty Nesters Face
While “empty nest syndrome” gets the spotlight, the truth is that the struggles go deeper than missing your kids. For many couples, the years of “being in the business of the relationship” — managing the calendar, keeping the household afloat, parenting, and working — created distance. Emotional, physical, and sometimes sexual disconnection quietly became the norm.
Here are the most common issues we see in couples over 50:
- Loss of Shared Meaning: Without the shared purpose of raising children, couples may feel adrift.
- Lack of Friendship: The foundation of friendship, so crucial to long-term happiness, may have been eroded.
- Neglected Intimacy: With years of stress and responsibility, sexual connection often fades into the background.
- Unspoken Resentments: Old wounds that were buried for the sake of keeping the peace often resurface.
- Identity Crisis: Who am I now that I’m not just a parent? Who are we?
- Grief: There’s a very real mourning process that occurs with this life change.
- Physical and Health Changes: Menopause, chronic conditions, and sexual health challenges can create both emotional and physical distance.
- Fear of Aging Alone: The relationship’s cracks feel more urgent now.
Why Now? Why It’s Worth Addressing in Midlife
There’s a myth that couples should just “ride it out” or that passion naturally fades. But here’s the truth: You can reestablish connection, romance, and meaning at this stage. And you don’t have to wait until the damage is irreparable.
Our Clinical Solution: Couples Retreats That Transform
For couples facing these issues, traditional weekly therapy might feel too slow or disconnected from the urgency they feel. That’s why we created Therapy Getaway Intensives: private, highly focused couples retreats available through www.therapygetaway.com.
These intensives are:
- Led by trained Gottman Method and Certified clinicians
- Tailored to your unique relational history and goals
- Held in a confidential, restorative environment
- Designed to help couples reignite their emotional and physical intimacy
- A powerful alternative to weekly therapy sessions
What an Intensive Can Help You Do:
- Learn how to fight fair and communicate without triggering each other
- Rebuild your emotional connection and friendship
- Address long-standing resentments with compassion and structure
- Reignite physical and sexual intimacy
- Create a shared vision for your next chapter
Real Talk: What Disconnection Looks Like in the Empty Nest Phase
When I gave a talk recently for the California Marriage and Family Therapist Yearly Symposium (CAMFT) on Grey Divorce and Empty Nesters, I shared some sobering insights:
- Couples in their 50s are one of the fastest growing divorce demographics
- Emotional disengagement is a primary reason, not infidelity
- Many clients describe a sense of “married loneliness”
- Without intervention, these feelings can lead to isolation or the end of the marriage
But Here’s the Good News: Reconnection is possible. Even if you feel like strangers, the path back is not only possible, it’s within reach.
Tools We Use at Therapy Getaway Retreats
We incorporate:
- Gottman- evidence based interventions to help rebuild trust and fondness
- Mindfulness techniques to reduce emotional flooding
- Conflict resolution tools that de-escalate long-standing patterns
- Personalized assignments to take home and sustain the progress you started in session.
- Ongoing Support Available by video or additional in person sessions
Local Focus: Serving Couples in San Diego and Beyond
Our retreats are held in beautiful, calming San Diego, California—a perfect location to relax and refocus. Whether you’re local or flying in, we offer customized packages to fit your needs. Many couples find that being away from distractions at home give them time to think, connect, and experience a shared adventure without the worry of taking care of family responsibilities.
If this sounds like where you and you are partner at in life right now…You’re in the right place. Let’s help you reconnect.
The Relationship Place Can Help You Feel Seen Again
You don’t have to wait until your marriage is on life support. In fact, the sooner you take action, the easier it is to reverse the disconnection.
At The Relationship Place, our motto is: Be Curious, Not Furious. We’ll help you get curious about each other again, restore emotional intimacy, and rewrite your story for this new chapter.
Ready to Take the First Step?
Visit www.therapygetaway.com to learn more, or schedule a free consultation call. Your next season together can be your best yet.
Dr. Dana McNeil is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, founder of The Relationship Place in San Diego, and creator of the D-Spot Podcast. She is a certified Gottman Therapist, national speaker, and advocate for proactive relationship health.
