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Moving Into the New Year with Intention and Emotional Care

Relationship /

January can feel heavy. Learn how to move into the New Year with intention, gentle rituals, and deeper relational connection without pressure or unrealistic resolutions. January has a way of sneaking up on us emotionally. We go from twinkle lights, warm gatherings, and the comforting structure of the holidays to cold mornings, early sunsets, and a sudden pressure to “fix” ourselves with resolutions. If you’re feeling a dip in energy or motivation right now, you’re […]

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Your Problem vs Our Problem: Shifting to the “We” Perspective

Relationship /

“That’s your problem to deal with.” We live in an individualistic society that tells us we need to take care of ourselves before we can form meaningful relationships with others. Can you recall a time when you were told “that’s your problem to deal with?” It could have come from a parent, a friend, a boss, or a partner. What is the story you told yourself at that moment? Here are some common ones: I’m

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Guys, Gratitude, and Gottman

Guys, Gratitude, and Gottman

Men's Mental Health /

How Men Can Lead with Presence, Appreciation, and Attunement There is something quietly revolutionary about a man who chooses to show up. Not with grand gestures or perfection, but with presence. With curiosity. With the simple daily choice to notice his partner, care about her world, and take responsibility for his part in their connection. When men lean into that version of themselves, something profound happens. Their partner softens. Their home becomes safer. Emotional intimacy

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Are You Dating a “Mama’s Boy”? 5 Signs to Watch (and What to Do)

As Seen In /

At The Relationship Place in San Diego, one pattern we see in couples therapy is when a partner’s relationship with his mother begins to interfere with intimacy, trust, and equality in the romantic relationship. I recently contributed expert insight to a feature on SELF about “mama’s boy” signs. Below is a deeper dive you can share with your partner—or bring to therapy—to start shifting the dynamic. 5 Signs the Mother–Son Dynamic Is Impacting Your Relationship Constant comparisons to his mom. If you’re regularly measured against

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happy holiday couple

Setting Boundaries for Happy Couple Holidays

Couples Counseling, Holiday, Relationship /

The holidays can be one of the most emotionally charged times of the year for couples. Families have long-held traditions, expectations, and opinions about how things “should” be done — and many newly married or long-term couples find themselves caught in the middle. Maybe one partner’s family expects everyone home for Christmas morning, while the other insists on the big dinner with their side that same evening. You love both families and want to please

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attuned couple

How Presence Turns Conflict into Connection

Couples Counseling, Relationship /

“Presence is the opposite of stonewalling, defensiveness, and zoning out. It’s choosing to feel instead of flee, to listen instead of argue, to reach instead of retreat.” The Vanishing Act Every couple knows this moment. You’re mid-conversation—maybe about finances, parenting, or something as small as leaving dishes in the sink—and suddenly, one of you disappears. Not physically, but emotionally. Eyes glaze over. Shoulders tense. One partner retreats into silence while the other presses harder, desperate

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couple and dog

How To Rebuild Trust After Betrayal (Even If It Feels Impossible)

Couples Counseling, Relationship /

“I’ll never stay with someone who cheats.” For most, cheating is the ultimate betrayal to experience in a relationship. How many of your friends have told you that they would never stay with a partner who cheats on them? Have you ever said that yourself? “Cheating is a deal breaker.” It seems so simple, easy. However, it is much easier said than done. Maybe you find out that a person you have been dating for

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A couple sitting on a bench.

How to Prepare for Couples Therapy (and Find the Right Therapist for You)

Anxiety, Couples Counseling, Depression, General, Growth, LGBTQ, Parenting, Relationship, Uncategorized /

Deciding to seek couples therapy is one of the bravest — and healthiest — steps you can take for your relationship. Still, it can feel intimidating. Many couples wonder: Where do we start? How do we know if we’re choosing the right therapist? What should we expect from the first few sessions? And let’s be honest — many of the people reading this fall into one of three groups: – You’ve tried therapy before and

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Why Can’t You Be More Selfish?

Relationship, Self-Esteem, Thoughts /

Drs. John and Julie Gottman remark, throughout their work on relationships, that “everyone is a philosopher,” since our choices and actions are informed by our deeply held beliefs and values. In this series of essays, I call upon the dear reader to challenge their philosophical perspective, to check their premises. Let’s consider ourselves and our partners in a new light and see what we might discover. Not an attempt to persuade — rather an invitation

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Ick

“The Ick” Or Intuition? Knowing When to Walk Away

Relationship /

I Have “The Ick” Have you heard that phrase? Maybe in casual passing when asking a friend about a recent date. Maybe on a popular media post or video. Did you have to ask what it meant? Did you google it the first time? As a popular turn of phrase, the definition can change based on who you ask or where you look. Here is our working definition of “The Ick.” The Ick: A sudden

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