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Affairs/Infidelity

couple in therapy getting furious and colluding

Why Couples Sometimes Work Against Therapy Without Realizing It

I recently taught a CAMFT (California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists) and Gottman Institute training for therapists on a topic that doesn’t get nearly enough airtime in couples work: collusion. Specifically, the subtle, silent, often unconscious ways therapists can drift out of neutrality without realizing it. But the part of that conversation that’s stayed with me most has less to do with therapists, and more to do with couples themselves — because plenty of […]

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An emotionally distant couple sitting in different parts of the room while one partner looks down at a glowing phone with a soft, intimate expression, suggesting a secretive emotional connection outside the relationship.

Is an Emotional Affair Cheating? Signs and What to Do Next

An emotional affair can feel confusing — especially because it often doesn’t start as an affair. It starts as a friendship. And in many cases, it starts at work. A coworker who “just gets you.” A conversation that feels easy. A person who listens. A text thread that becomes the highlight of your day. And then one day, you realize something has shifted. You’re not just talking. You’re emotionally leaning. And sometimes… you’re starting to

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military officer jacket after affair

Military Infidelity: When an Affair Can Become a Career Ender

Infidelity is painful in any relationship. But in the military, it can carry a different kind of weight — because betrayal doesn’t just threaten the marriage. It can threaten a career, a clearance, a reputation, and in some cases, an entire future. And that reality creates a unique problem: many couples feel trapped between wanting help and being terrified of what help could cost them. If you’re reading this and thinking, “This is exactly our

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