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Couples Therapy

Woman checking her phone late at night, waiting for a reply: breadcrumbing in a relationship

Breadcrumbing in a Relationship: Why Crumbs Never Add Up to a Cupcake

As Seen In, Couples Therapy, Relationship /

Dr. Dana McNeil, PsyD, LMFT, co-founder of The Relationship Place, was cited in Psychology Today’s article “Red Flags of Breadcrumbing in a Relationship” Here is a deeper look at what she sees in the therapy room. You get a text at 11:40 p.m. It’s warm, a little flirty, and it feels like proof. Then nothing for four days. Just when you’ve decided to let it go, a heart appears on your Instagram story, and the […]

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same-sex couple with Gottman Method therapist

Why the Gottman Method Works So Well for Same-Sex Couples

Couples Therapy, LGBTQ /

Insight from Dr. Dana McNeil, Certified Gottman Therapist When The Gottman Institute needed a clinician to write honestly about whether its own method truly serves same-sex couples, they turned to Dr. Dana McNeil, co-founder of The Relationship Place and a Certified Gottman Therapist. Her article for Gottman.com, “Finding the Right Approach to Therapy with Same-Sex Partners,” is the kind of piece that could only come from someone who has spent years in the room with

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contempt, defensiveness, weakness in partner

The Cost of Perfect: Shame, Defensiveness, and Why We Can’t Bear Our Partner’s Weakness

Couples Therapy, Relationship Research /

This article is part of a three-part series on Shame and Contempt In Part 1, we looked at contempt — how it functions as a shame defense, converting “I am inadequate” into “you are the problem.” But contempt has a subtler sibling that does the same job with less noise: defensiveness. Gottman’s research describes defensiveness as self-protection dressed up as innocence — the righteous counter-attack, the excuse, the “it’s not my fault” reflex. It sends

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contempt and shame in couple relationship

Sulfuric Acid for Love: Understanding Contempt Before It Erodes Your Relationship

Couples Therapy, Relationship Research /

This article is the first in a three-part series on Shame and Contempt A lively argument can lead a couple to deeper understanding, trust grounded in respect for differences, and even great makeup sex. And sure, every couple gets tired, short with each other, and occasionally unfair. That’s not what predicts the end of a relationship. What predicts it is a specific tone — one where a partner isn’t just frustrated with what you did,

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