Of course, life is uncertain. Now more than ever we’re collectively feeling the uncertainty brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic. I recently had the privilege of being interviewed by Chase and Sarah Kosterlitz for their “I Do” podcast to discuss tips and advice for couples dealing with uncertainty. You can listen to the podcast here.
I recommend my clients approach each other with an attitude of being more curious than furious about your partner’s differing position. Your partner is not opposing you just to be difficult or obstinate about social distancing. When you can approach your partner with an open attitude of wanting to really understand what is driving their thought process you start off the conversations from a gentler approach, which promotes compassion and compromise.
Pistanthrophobia is the fear of trusting others and is often the result of experiencing a serious disappointment or painful ending to a prior relationship. As a result of the trauma, the person with this phobia possesses a fear of getting hurt again and avoids being in another relationship as a way to guard against future similar painful experiences. When this happens, you’re unable to have a future relationship that may help you gain perspective or understanding as to why the prior relationship may not have been a good fit to begin with.
Living with an ex is common these days. There are many reasons that couples make the decision to stay living together even when the relationship has ended. Most of the reasons my clients give revolve around finances and children. However, during this COVID-19 crisis, living together with your ex may cause additional stress and frustration making your reasons to stay in the first place seem insignificant!
In my last post, I talked about managing conflict in new relationships, based on a series I’m currently doing for TV’s “I Do”. I wanted to share these tips with you all, and do my part in helping manage these stressful few months. Without further ado, here are my tips for mending relationship conflicts.
Like many of my clients, you survived week one working from home through a haze of shock, worry, and interrupted routines. This week you have decided that you want to have a plan in place as to how to best navigate what appears to be at least several months of working under the same roof and possibly even the same room as your partner and family. You want to be able to do more than just keep the peace and be cordial with your unexpected office mate. You want to be able to actually feel productive while avoiding feeling resentful of your partner because of too much-forced togetherness. You’ve probably decided that you need to set up a new set of rules as to how best to co-work without emotional distancing. You need family boundaries.
Here a set of guidelines I have been suggesting my clients put into place while waiting out the quarantine: