Income disparities can have a negative impact on romantic relationships, especially around power dynamics. In an article by Amanda Goh for Business Insider, Dr. Dana McNeil, PsyD, LMFT, Gottman-trained relationship therapist and our founder, explains how differences in wealth and income can foster resentment and an unhealthy dependence.
Whose contributions are more valuable?
Income disparity can impact romantic relationships, particularly around power dynamics.
For instance, it could be an issue when one person sees their contributions to the relationship as being more valuable than the other because of the amount of money they possess or earn, Dana McNeil, a relationship therapist and the founder of The Relationship Place, a San Diego-based practice, told BI.
“Many wealthy partners may perceive they are entitled to exert more control and say in the relationship about how money is spent,” she said.
This can sometimes cause the less wealthy partner or the one more financially dependent to resent having to rely on their partner’s permission to make purchases.
“This feeling of dependence can create a parent/child dynamic that feels like a loss of freedom and autonomy,” McNeil said.
How couples can navigate financial disparity
While there is no one-size-fits-all approach, fairness and clarity are key.
“When appropriate, I often recommend that couples talk about proportional contributions rather than equal ones. For example, each person could contribute a percentage of their income toward shared expenses,” Lami Ronit said.
The goal is to avoid feelings of imbalance or resentment, she added.
When it comes to splitting bills, McNeil says she often suggests her clients have three checking accounts: a personal one for each partner and a joint account for bills and common expenses like going out to dinner or buying groceries.