Breaking the Ice: Tips on Making Female Friends at Work for Women

Dana McNeil

Dana is a gifted, compassionate, and practical therapist and the founder of The Relationship Place. Dana has achieved the highest level of training possible in the Gottman Method of couples therapy. She has special interests in working with all clients, including those who live out-of-the-ordinary lives or have alternative relationships.
Dana McNeil

When we’re school aged, it’s easy to make friends. But as adults, women can sometimes feel on-guard around other women, especially in the workplace, and friendships can be harder to foster. Not only does this lack of friendship make going to work each day feel more challenging, but studies have found friendships, or a lack of friendships, has a big impact on our overall health and well-being.

Here are some ways you can foster real friendships with other women at work.

Make it a Priority

It’s easy to tell yourself you’d like to make friends with the women you work with but following up on that impulse takes real effort. The journey of friendship is one you must commit to and nurture. Ask a coworker to lunch, compliment someone on the fine job she did, and invite others into the discussions you are leading. Each day make it a priority to build a closer relationship with the women you work with.

Focus on Quality Not Quantity

Depending on how many female coworkers you have, you most likely won’t be able to make real and lasting friendships with all of them, and that’s okay. This is not a popularity contest where you try to get everyone to like you. This is about seeking out women with whom you have a connection and putting in the effort to form a lasting bond.

Expect Some Rejection

The truth is, there’s not a whole lot of difference between romantic dating and platonic “dating.” You may feel a connection with another woman at work and ask her out to lunch. She may say no and say it again and again.

Don’t let any form of rejection stop your efforts. Just as no one at work really knows your inner life and feelings, you don’t know anyone else’s. Some women may simply be in a bad space in their life and don’t have the energy to connect with a new person. That’s okay. Move on and keep trying. Eventually you will make a true and lasting connection.

Keep the Momentum Going

Once you’ve had that initial lunch or get-together, keep the momentum going. Building a relationship is like building a fire. It takes a bit of work to get that kindling to catch, but once it does, the bigger flames come.

Like anything else in life, friendships require our time and attention, but when you consider the value and meaning they bring to our life, they are worth the extra effort.

 

If you’re looking for some expert guidance on navigating the unique stressors of your work or personal life, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

 

Sources:

https://psychcentral.com/news/2018/03/04/women-report-increased-discrimination-from-workplace-queen-bees/133258.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/working-btches/201308/why-are-some-women-nasty-other-women

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/friendship-20/201605/10-ways-make-and-keep-friendships-adult

Rest assured that we are still operational!  Although shelter-in-place requirements due to Covid-19 have necessitated closing our physical office, we are still able to offer tele-therapy services via video or phone.

 

We have successfully transitioned existing clients to a tele-therapy format and have found it beneficial in providing continued support to our clients. 

 

For new clients, we are currently offering a free 15-minute video or phone consultation.  For convenience, we are also offering 1/2 hour sessions in addition to our regular hourly sessions.

 

As this current crisis has caused concern for many people, we have been receiving several calls for consultation appointments.  Please contact us right away to schedule your consultation, as time slots are limited.

 

Please continue checking this notice.  We will be updating as circumstances change.

Shelter-in-place requirements due to COVID-19 have necessitated closing our physical office. However, we are still operational and able to offer teletherapy services via video or phone.

 

Our existing clients have found teletherapy very beneficial in receiving continued support.

As this current crisis has caused concern for many people, we have been receiving an increased number of calls for consultation appointments. Please contact us right away to schedule, as time slots are limited.

 

For new clients, we are currently offering a free 15-minute video or phone consultation.  For convenience, we are also offering 1/2 hour sessions in addition to our regular hourly sessions.

 

Please continue checking this notice. We will be updating as circumstances change.

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