New years are for fresh starts. It may also be the best time to go out there and meet the love of your life.
Starting a new relationship may feel surreal, but it’s not all sunshine and rainbows for some. For someone who came out of a toxic relationship, entering a new one can be emotionally daunting. Past traumatic events may hinder you from seeing a person as they are. You might also have a hard time seeing yourself as capable of giving and receiving love.
But how do you know if you’re ready? Before entering a new relationship, ask yourself these questions:
- Do you feel happy and content with your life as it is, and you’re looking for someone to share it with?
- Are you over any past relationships or are you ready to move on?
- Do you have a good sense of what you want in a partner and what you can offer in a relationship?
- Are you open to learning and growing as a person, and you’re willing to work on yourself and the relationship?
- Are you ready to communicate openly and honestly with a partner?
- Do you have the time and energy to devote to a relationship?
- Do you have a good support system in your circle of friends and family?
- Do you feel confident in your ability to make decisions and set boundaries?
- Are you open to trying new things and being vulnerable?
- Do you have a positive outlook and are ready to take on the challenges that come with being in a relationship?
- Are you ready to be there for someone else and support them through the ups and downs of life?
- Are you willing to compromise and make sacrifices for the sake of the relationship?
If you think your answer is a resounding ‘yes’ to all of these, then 2023 might be the best year to welcome a new relationship in your life. Ultimately, it’s important to listen to your own feelings and needs and make a decision that feels right for you.
12 Signs You Are Emotionally Healthy For A New Relationship
New relationship anxiety is valid and normal, especially when you’ve dealt with a lot of relationship problems in the past. Knowing these signs might help you assess if you’re ready:
1. You are emotionally available
You have taken the time to work through any past hurt or trauma and are ready to open yourself up to someone new. You’re emotionally available to start a new relationship if you look for a kind of relationship that you deserve, not something you’ve just grown accustomed to.
2. You have a positive outlook
You are hopeful and optimistic about finding someone special, rather than feeling jaded or cynical. There are days when it’s hard to see the beauty in things. You’re emotionally ready when you see these bad days as something that can pass, while you remain hopeful and focused on what the future holds.
3. You are self-sufficient
You are comfortable being alone and don’t feel a sense of desperation to find someone to fill a void in your life. Being self-sufficient helps you in improving a better version of yourself.
4. You know what you want
You have a clear idea of the kind of person you are looking for and what you want in a relationship. You’ve put a stop to the ‘dating game’ and realize you’re in for the real deal. You won’t settle for anything less than what you deserve.
5. You are open to new experiences
You are open to trying new things and stepping outside your comfort zone to find love. This doesn’t mean planning out events in the best bars in town. This means that you’re ready to step out of your comfort zone to enjoy your most authentic self.
6. You have a strong support system
You have a solid network of friends and family who can support you in your new relationship. You have built a healthy relationship with them and you trust them to guide you in finding the right person for you.
7. You’ve learned how to communicate
You are able to effectively communicate your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a relationship. Good communication seals the deal toward a healthy relationship. It’s also important to look for a future partner who you can communicate with freely and without any fear of judgment.
8. You are confident
You have a strong sense of self-worth and are not afraid to be yourself in a relationship.
9. You are willing to compromise
You understand that relationships require give and take, and are willing to make compromises in order to make the relationship work.
10. You have healthy boundaries
You know what you are and are not comfortable with, and are able to communicate and enforce your boundaries in a relationship. According to Dr. John Gottman, having no healthy boundaries established in a relationship may cause ‘flooding’ that may lead to being overwhelmed and stressed out during conflicts. This may cause someone to develop unhealthy habits in a relationship such as stonewalling.
11. You are ready for commitment.
You know that relationships need work and you’re up for it. You are willing to put in the time and effort to build a strong, healthy relationship.
12. You are ready for a new chapter
You are open to new experiences and are ready to move on from the past and embrace the possibilities of a new relationship.
Not Ready For A Relationship Yet?
Everyone runs (or walks) at their own pace. If you’re not yet ready to commit to a new relationship this year, know that it’s totally okay. Working on yourself is the best thing you can do to live your best this year.
While you’re on that, it’s also important to find your peace and heal so you can be ready to give and receive love from someone again. Your past mistakes and trauma should never stop you from loving again and finding the right person you can finally be happy with. Here are ways to get yourself emotionally ready for it:
Take time to heal from any past hurt or trauma.
It’s important to be emotionally available in a new relationship, and that means taking the time to process and heal from any pain you may have experienced in the past.
Figure out what you want in a relationship.
Take some time to think about what you want in a partner and what you want from a relationship. This will help you know what to look for and be more successful in finding a compatible partner.
Work on your self-esteem.
Having a healthy sense of self-worth is essential for a successful relationship. Take some time to work on building your confidence and belief in yourself.
Improve your communication skills.
Being able to effectively communicate your thoughts, feelings, and needs is essential in any relationship. Consider taking a communication course or working with a therapist to improve your skills.
Taking care of yourself is important for your overall well-being and will make you more attractive to potential partners. Make sure you are eating well, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.
Establish a strong support system.
Surround yourself with a network of friends and family who can support and encourage you in your new relationship.
Be open to new experiences.
Don’t be afraid to try new things and step outside your comfort zone. This can help you meet new people and expand your horizons.
It’s important to let go of any grudges or resentment you may be holding onto from past relationships. This will allow you to be more open and receptive to a new relationship.
Know what you are and are not comfortable with in a relationship, and be clear about your boundaries with your partner.
Finding the right person takes time, so try not to rush into things or settle for less than you deserve. Trust that the right person will come along when the time is right.
Starting a new relationship sure feels rewarding, but it should also never feel stressful, offensive, or uncomfortable for you or a potential partner. Working on yourself is still the best route to take if you think you still have underlying issues within yourself or past traumas you need to heal from. Maybe this year might also be the best time for you to talk to a relationship expert– we’re just a click away.