We aim to break the stereotype of what therapy is supposed to be like, and what your relationship should look like.
We don’t have stuffy offices as you might find in a medical practice. Our therapy rooms are warm and cozy. You’ll feel like you’re sitting in our living room.
- Dr. Dana McNeil Cited by Bored Panda on Infidelity in Long-Distance Relationships - October 14, 2026
- Positive Perspective: Moving From Commiseration to Connection - January 13, 2026
- Your Problem vs Our Problem: Shifting to the “We” Perspective - November 26, 2025
The main types of couples therapy are the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), Imago Relationship Therapy, discernment counseling, solution-focused therapy, cognitive behavioral couples therapy, narrative therapy, religion-based counseling and individual counseling for relationship issues. They differ in what they focus on (skills, emotions, childhood patterns, the future or a decision about whether to stay) and in how long they usually take. The right one depends on your goals and where each of you stands. Here’s what couples therapy with us involves if you’re considering starting.
Seeking help can be hard. Pride, fear or simply not knowing what to expect keeps many couples from starting. Knowing your options makes the first step easier, so below we explain each type, compare them side by side and help you decide which fits.
What Is Couples Therapy?
Couples therapy is a kind of psychotherapy that helps two people in a romantic relationship work through problems and strengthen their connection. Some couples come in for one specific issue, like jealousy, trust or a recurring fight; others want a broader reset. A trained therapist guides difficult conversations, helps each partner feel heard and teaches tools for communication and conflict. Couples therapy can improve communication, resolve problems, strengthen your bond and heal old wounds.
What Are the 9 Types of Couples Therapy?
1. The Gottman Method
Created by Drs. John and Julie Gottman from decades of research on what makes relationships succeed or fail, the Gottman Method strengthens three areas: friendship, conflict management and shared meaning. It uses a model called the Sound Relationship House: build love maps, share fondness and admiration, turn toward instead of away, the positive perspective, manage conflict, make life dreams come true and create shared meaning, held together by trust and commitment. It starts with a detailed assessment and gives couples practical skills to use at home, for both solvable problems and the perpetual ones every couple has.
2. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy is based on attachment theory. It sees a lasting partnership as built on a secure emotional bond, and it helps couples recognize the negative cycle they get stuck in, express the deeper emotions underneath and respond to each other in ways that rebuild safety. EFT is designed to be relatively short-term, often around 8 to 20 sessions.
3. Imago Relationship Therapy
Imago Relationship Therapy explores how early childhood experiences shape what we expect from our partners. Couples learn a structured dialogue to share those experiences and hear each other with empathy. It can feel intense, because it may involve talking about family of origin, old hurts or trauma, but the goal is deeper understanding and healing.
4. Discernment Counseling
Discernment counseling is for couples where one partner is leaning out of the relationship and the other wants to save it. Rather than trying to fix the marriage right away, it helps both partners get clarity and confidence about a direction: stay as is, separate, or commit to a six-month effort in couples therapy. It’s short, usually one to five sessions. Here’s more on discernment counseling for couples.
5. Solution-Focused Therapy
Solution-focused therapy is brief and goal-oriented. Instead of digging into the past, it helps couples define what they want, notice what is already working and build on small positive changes. It’s best for couples who want to solve a specific problem in a limited number of sessions.
6. Cognitive Behavioral Couples Therapy
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is best known for treating anxiety and depression in individuals, but it is also used with couples. It looks at the thoughts and beliefs each partner has about the other and the relationship, and how those thoughts drive behavior. Couples learn to challenge unhelpful assumptions, communicate more clearly and solve problems together. It can also help with anger and major life transitions.
7. Narrative Therapy
Narrative therapy looks at the stories couples tell about themselves and their relationship. A key idea is separating the problem from the people: a couple might give a recurring pattern its own name so it becomes something they face together rather than “who we are.” From there, they write a new story for the relationship they want.
8. Religion-Based Counseling
For couples whose faith is central to their identity, religion-based counseling brings spiritual values into therapy. It exists on a spectrum: some licensed therapists add spirituality to evidence-based methods, while some counselors make faith the center of sessions. Ask about training and licensure as well as beliefs, and check with your place of worship for recommendations.
9. Individual Counseling for Relationship Issues
Sometimes only one partner is willing to go to therapy. Individual counseling for relationship issues can still help: you can work on your own patterns and reactions, and change in one partner often shifts the whole relationship. Sometimes it also encourages the other partner to join. It has limits, though; some problems can’t be solved without both people.
How Do the Types of Couples Therapy Compare?
| Type | Main focus | Best for | Typical length |
|---|---|---|---|
| Gottman Method | Friendship, conflict skills, shared meaning | Most couples, especially with frequent conflict or distance | Varies; often several months |
| Emotionally Focused (EFT) | Attachment and emotional bond | Couples stuck in a pursue-withdraw cycle | About 8–20 sessions |
| Imago | Childhood patterns and empathic dialogue | Couples repeating old family patterns | Varies |
| Discernment counseling | Deciding whether to work on the relationship | One partner leaning out, one leaning in | 1–5 sessions |
| Solution-focused | Goals and what already works | A specific, defined problem | Brief |
| Cognitive behavioral | Thoughts, beliefs and behaviors | Negative assumptions, communication problems | Often short to medium term |
| Narrative | The couple’s story; separating problem from people | Couples who feel defined by their problems | Varies |
| Religion-based | Faith and shared values | Couples who want their faith included | Varies |
| Individual counseling | One partner’s patterns and healing | When only one partner will attend | Varies |
How Do You Choose a Type of Couples Therapy?
- Start with your goal. Better communication and less conflict? Gottman, EFT or CBT fit well. A decision about whether to stay? Discernment counseling. One clear problem? Solution-focused therapy.
- Consider what happened. After an affair or betrayal, look for a therapist experienced in affair and infidelity counseling.
- Think about whether you’re both in. If one partner is unsure, discernment counseling or individual counseling may come first.
- Look for evidence. The Gottman Method and EFT are among the most widely researched approaches.
- Choose the therapist, not just the method. Feeling comfortable with your therapist matters as much as the approach. These tips on choosing a couples therapist can help.
What Questions Should You Ask a Couples Therapist?
- What training do you have in couples therapy specifically, and which approach do you use?
- How do you stay neutral and make sure we both feel heard?
- What does a typical session look like, and how long do you expect therapy to take?
- Do you meet with each partner individually as well?
- How do you handle issues like affairs, addiction or safety concerns?
- How will we know if it’s working?
More tips are in our guide to finding a great therapist.
Which Types of Couples Therapy Does The Relationship Place Offer?
At The Relationship Place in San Diego, our core approach is the Gottman Method, delivered by Gottman-trained therapists. We also offer discernment counseling for couples deciding whether to stay together, individual therapy for relationship issues, affair recovery, counseling for polyamorous and open relationships, and multi-day Therapy Getaway® intensives. If you’re not sure which is right for you, we’ll help you decide.
Call The Relationship Place at (619) 535-8890 or reach out to us to schedule a consultation.