Founder, The Relationship Place (San Diego Couples Therapy)
Certified Gottman Therapist
Licenses:
California LMFT #99008 | Texas LMFT #205614
Dr. Dana McNeil is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder of The Relationship Place, a San Diego couples therapy practice specializing in high-acuity relationships, emotional disconnection, conflict repair, and intimacy concerns. She has achieved the highest level of training in the Gottman Method Couples Therapy and is known for her compassionate, direct, and practical approach to helping couples rebuild trust, communication, and closeness.
She is also the founder of Therapy Getaway, a structured couples intensive model designed for couples seeking deep, focused relationship repair. Dana has specialized expertise in midlife marriage challenges, empty nest transitions, and gray divorce, and provides training and professional education for therapists, including work connected to the Gottman Institute.
Her expertise has been featured in national publications including Oprah Daily, Martha Stewart Living, Men’s Health, Bustle, and SELF Magazine.
She is passionate about helping couples move from feeling like roommates to rebuilding emotional and physical connection.

What Are 10 Relationship Resolutions for a Happier and Healthier Marriage?

1. Spend more time alone together.

Start committing to date nights or a simple dinner. Leave the kids to your dependable babysitter and protect that time just for the two of you. It can provide you and your partner some time to sit, talk, or catch up with each other’s busy schedules.

Once you’re married, date nights can easily become rare. Schedule them once a week or once a month. Start doing something you both like just for the two of you. Finding time to be alone with each other makes you appreciate each other’s company more. Need ideas? Try these date night ideas in San Diego.

2. Stop lying about the small stuff, even if it is done in good faith.

Think about the last time you lied to your spouse. Odds are good if it was something relatively small and insignificant—like lying about not watching a movie you agreed to see together, or saying you didn’t see his text when you forgot to reply. Lying to your spouse about small stuff may seem harmless at first but in reality, it can damage your relationship over time.

It becomes easy to lie about the big things when we lie about the little things on a regular basis. Unfortunately, you may wake up one day and realize you’ve been lying about feelings, ideas, or problems that should have been brought up months or years ago. It’s not necessary for you to lie about it. Being clear and open with one another is key.

3. Learn more about your partner’s love language.

Have you once spent time selecting the nicest present for your spouse only to be disappointed about their reaction? Are you seeing the same reaction when you’re cuddling with him during a movie, or when she comes home to chores all done?

Quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, and receiving gifts are the most common love languages. Sometimes, we tend to express our love for our partners in our own language, while failing to know what their love language is.

Learning your spouse’s love language, if you still haven’t figured it out, can make room for more memorable experiences together. Sometimes, the little things you thought wouldn’t make a difference are the things your spouse is hoping for. Even if it’s not your cup of tea, making an effort to satisfy your partner’s love language can make your partner appreciate you even more.

4. Compliment each other more.

Isn’t a good compliment just the most straightforward way to make someone feel loved? It doesn’t need to be complicated. You can start sending a random text message that will keep him smiling throughout the day. Or surprising her at work with flowers and sweet notes. Even simply telling your spouse that you’re proud of them can go a long way.

Giving your partner compliments means that you appreciate and pay close attention to them. In marriage, it’s easy to get caught up with day-to-day duties, but the thing is, you should keep being your partner’s number one motivator. Words and compliments can boost your partner’s confidence and your relationship as a couple.

5. Try going to bed at the same time.

Try to go to bed at the same time, no excuses! After a hard day at work, the few minutes before bed time is a very important moment to reconnect. Going to bed at the same time makes room for married couples to talk, cuddle, discuss dreams and goals, bond, and be intimate.

It also helps to build a nighttime routine that you both can get accustomed to. Having routines can keep you in track of committing to sync your sleep schedules. With both of you sleeping and waking up at the same time, it’s easier to plan and sync your schedules for the rest of the day too.

6. Plan a new activity every month.

There are so many things to do in life, and it’s often hard to make time for everything. Making time to do something that you both can enjoy or just be busy with is crucial to a healthy relationship. It gives you the opportunity to enjoy each other’s company.

This year, plan to try something new every month. It may be a trip to a new city, a meal at a new restaurant, or trying out something you’re both new at. It’s all about incorporating something new into your daily routine to keep the fun alive in your relationship.

7. Bring back your intimacy.

When tired parents have to choose between sleep and intimacy, sleep usually always wins. While it’s truly understandable, couples should find time to do something they both can look forward to every day. Intimacy is a crucial part of any relationship, yet for many couples, it seems to fade away after marriage.

Married couples tend to lose passion because they take intimacy for granted. Make a commitment to work on new ways to bring back your intimacy and keep the passion alive. Find some alone time to cuddle, make love, or plan things you both enjoy doing despite your busy schedules. Bring back the things that made you feel happy and excited about each other, and make it a daily habit. These ways to rebuild emotional intimacy are a good place to start.

8. Try couples therapy.

If things are starting to feel like they’re too much to handle on your own, it might be time for couples therapy. It can help married couples learn how to communicate better, resolve conflicts, and strengthen their relationship.

Marriage therapy can be extremely beneficial at different stages of a relationship and can address a wide range of concerns that may arise in a marriage. It can provide a safe, neutral space for both partners to share their feelings and voice concerns. You don’t have to be in crisis: marriage therapy or a relationship check-up can help strong couples stay that way.

9. Make after-work conversations a priority.

What do you do once you got home from work? After a tiring day, it’s understandable to want to get some rest the second you get home. However, taking a few minutes each evening after work to talk about how your day went helps married couples improve their communication and connection with each other.

Taking a little time to talk about your day and how you’re feeling can help strengthen your relationship. Conversation after work allows you to reconnect, rehash the events of the day, and plan for tomorrow. It’s also a great opportunity for problem-solving and ironing out any disagreements that may have arisen during the day. These conflict resolution strategies can help those conversations go smoothly.

10. Set a long-term goal.

Couples who have been married for a long time may find themselves in a bit of a rut. Some would say that they no longer feel the excitement they once did when they were first married. While this is normal, it’s also important to find ways to do something about it to reignite that old spark.

Setting a long-term goal is one way of doing it. This can be something as simple as saving for a down payment on a house or going on an out-of-the-country trip. Working towards something together will help keep your marriage strong and exciting. Setting long-term goals provides you and your partner something to look forward to together.

How Do Couples Keep Their Relationship Resolutions?

Most resolutions fade by February because they’re too vague or too ambitious. A few habits make it more likely yours will last:

Choose together. Pick resolutions you both care about, not ones one partner assigns the other.
Start small. Two or three resolutions you keep are better than ten you abandon.
Make them specific. “Date night every other Friday” works better than “spend more time together.”
Put them on the calendar. Schedule date nights, new activities and check-ins the way you would any appointment.
Check in monthly. Spend 20 minutes talking about what’s working, what isn’t and what to adjust.
Be kind when you slip. Missing a week isn’t failure. Notice it without blame and pick back up.
Celebrate progress. Acknowledge the effort you’re both making, even when it’s small.

Happy marriages don’t just happen. Make this year a happier one by committing to the relationship resolutions that matter most to you both. If you’d like more guidance, contact us or call The Relationship Place at (619) 535-8890.