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how to heal from a toxic relationship

How to Heal From a Toxic Relationship

Relationship /

You heal from a toxic relationship by first getting safe distance from the person, then giving yourself time to feel and understand what happened, rebuilding the support network the relationship may have cut you off from, caring for your body and routines, and working through the experience with a therapist so old patterns don’t follow you into your next relationship. Healing takes time and rarely moves in a straight line, but it does happen. Individual […]

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Pheromones

Pheromones: What Are They and What Role Do They Play in Relationships?

Relationship /

Pheromones probably play a much smaller role in human relationships than popular articles suggest. In many animals, pheromones are chemical signals that reliably trigger mating and other behaviors. In humans, scientists have not yet confirmed that true pheromones exist, and studies of the most-promoted “attraction” chemicals have not held up. Smell does matter in attraction, and many people love their partner’s natural scent, but lasting relationships depend far more on trust, communication and connection than

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Blog What To Do During A Rough Patch 1140x507 1

Are Rough Patches in Relationships Normal?

Relationship /

This piece was originally published on Gottman.com and is republished here with permission from the Gottman Institute. You and your partner are in a tough place. You have a hard time feeling connected and don’t feel understood. You worry if this is the beginning of the end of the relationship. You fantasize about what life might be like starting over, being single, and what dating someone new might be like. Maybe you even started searching for divorce

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how to deal with polyamory

20 Questions to Ask Before You Proceed With Polyamory

Relationship /

You decide whether to proceed with polyamory by asking yourself and your partner honest questions before acting: why you want it, what each of you hopes to gain, whether either of you feels pressured, how you’ll handle jealousy and what boundaries will protect everyone. If you’re both genuinely interested, feel secure together and can talk openly about fears, it may be worth exploring slowly. If one of you is reluctant or hoping it will fix

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communication exercises for couples therapy

6 Therapist-Approved Communication Exercises for Couples

Couples Counseling /

The communication exercises that help couples most are a soft start-up, clarifying statements, a daily appreciation ritual, affirmations of fondness, expressing feelings and needs without blame, and practicing responsibility. Each one is a small, repeatable habit that counters the patterns Dr. John Gottman found most damaging to relationships. Pair them with active listening in relationships and practice them when things are calm, so they’re easier to use when conflict starts. Conflicts can help us gauge

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what women want in a relationship

7 Ways to Understand What Women Want in a Relationship

Issues for Women /

In a relationship, most women want to feel emotionally safe and understood. That means a partner who tunes in to her feelings instead of fixing or dismissing them, takes her fears seriously, shows appreciation, stays engaged during conflict instead of shutting down, approaches sex without pressure and keeps courting her long after the relationship is established. Every woman is different, but these needs come up again and again in Dr. John Gottman’s research, which our

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Breadcrumbing

Are You Being Breadcrumbed? 5 Signs to Watch For

Relationship /

What Is Breadcrumbing in Relationships? Breadcrumbing is a behavior in which one partner essentially gives the other partner just enough energy, time, attention, affection, or words of affirmation that provide some of the elements of being in a romantic relationship. If you keep finding yourself in this pattern, working with a therapist on your own can help you understand why and break it. However, the other partner is left still wanting. The partner who is

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what therapists think about online vs in-person therapy

Online vs. In-Person Therapy: Which Is Best for Couples?

Couples Counseling /

For couples, in-person therapy is usually the better choice when it’s practical. Being in the same room lets a therapist read both partners’ body language, step in when a conversation escalates and create a private, neutral space away from home. Online therapy works well for many individuals and is a good option when distance, schedules or health make office visits hard, especially once you’ve built a relationship with your therapist. Here’s more on why in-person

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signs you're destroying your marriage

13 Signs You Are Destroying Your Marriage (Without Realizing It)

Couples Counseling /

Despite the happily ever after trope popularized in media, a happy, healthy marriage isn’t one devoid of conflict. Instead, partners continue to bond by solving problems together while respecting each other as individuals. Doing this involves communication, empathy, trust, openness, and a willingness to be proactive. When we discuss the reasons behind failed marriages, it can be tempting to look at big one-time events. These can certainly be dealbreakers, but some issues are more subtle.

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valentines date ideas for every relationship type

Easy Valentine’s Day Date Ideas for Every Couple

Relationship /

The easiest Valentine’s Day date ideas fit where your relationship is right now. New couples do well with a low-pressure activity, busy couples with a simple at-home or after-work date, long-distance couples with a shared video dinner or letters, new parents with a few hours of rest together, long-term couples with a nostalgic or new tradition, and polyamorous partners with clearly planned split or group dates. The best date is the one that makes your

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